Self Placatory

by CASSIDY TORRANCE

Waiting behind the door
for too long
to hear you breathing
on the other side
hoping
that you would anytime now
knock

(and I would answer)
but nothing collides

and it hurts
like getting
a placatory pat on the back
after losing
and hearing
“try again next time”
as if it could heal a spirit

that is why I
always stumble again
back through
the streetlights and ribbony nights
back to my bed
stroke your blank name
upon the blank canvas of my heart
and let the soundless dreams
wash them away

’til one day I can wake up
the next morning
and not remember your name
or what I was waiting for

merdivinity

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